It's been a little strange. On the positive end, I had my first ever nice conversation with my mother that lasted more than 4 min. We talked for 45, like civil, related people who actually were interested in each other. I hope this is the start of something better than the last 26 years.
As of late, things have actually been OK with my stepmother also. After all those years of horrible memories, we're finally saying things that should have been said years ago, and I'm more comfortable letting her into my life as it is now. Honestly, I never thought I'd see this day, where I would write that. It's not all better, the past is something you always have to live with....but change is progress.
Last, on my sad note, I do think about the 3 year old that was to be mine, and it's still sobering for me 3 years later to think about. I can't be the only mother that wasn't to still have moments of sadness right? Funny to think that the wild child I was still wants the family, the house in the 'burbs, and the place in the PTA. That and to be able to kill a bottle of wine every once in a while with friends like a civilized person.