Monday, May 21, 2007

Two in a week? Summertime!

5 guys, midnight, on the street corner outside my house when I arrived home last night. 5 min later, two gunshots, and shortly thereafter cops looking for witnesses. Good times in the ghetto.

To my knowledge, no one died. I'm guessing they were a bad shot.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Ball and Chain.

Erin's wedding is today. More to come at a later time, but so far we've already been privileged to a drunken show by an uncle of mine. I'm sure the stories from this shindig will be epic.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Tales of the Ghetto #1020

So Christine dropped by my house to drop off some presents for me, because she's awesome like that. It was about 11pm and warm enough to hang out and chat in my stairwell, so......we did. Well mid chat I saw something that nearly caused me to wet my pants in fright. A RAT ran across my driveway, not 3ft from where poor Christine was sitting. Not like an ordinary rat either. This rat totally had been munching on steroids left over by one of the various drug dealers I am sure inhabit my neighborhood. It took everything in my being not to shriek and inspire someone to call the cops on my ass. Needless to say, we vacated the area IMMEDIATELY.

Stupid rats. I swear my area is so high class I can hardly stand it.

I've got skills!

I think maybe I need to go into the proofreading business. I'm going to take on my 3rd request this week to look over a resume and cover letter for a friend. And I WANT to do it too.

Damn me and my anal retentive English skills.

The dangers of insomnia.

It's 3 am, and I've yet to wear myself out.

Today I:

1. Discussed my phobia of making phone calls with my therapist. I'm pretty sure I stumped her with my aversion to it, and the lengths I will go to in order NOT to make calls.
2. Took a walk
3. Cleaned my room. It no longer looks like a bomb went off. Not to worry though, it still looks as ghetto as always. I think I put the vacuum cleaner into shock though with all the mess. It actually made noises that I think translated into a bitch fest over it.
4. Detail cleaned the bathroom. I actually got on my hands and knees and scrubbed the floor and shower!
5. Re synced my Ipod, and the iTunes on my phone. New jammin' playlist for me!
6. Sang along to the entire 10th Anniversary Cast recording of Les Miserables.
7. Sorted all my socks. When I managed to acquire so many matchless socks is beyond me. Even my new ones suddenly have partners missing. GRR.
8. Sent an insane amount of texts. I gotta get that under control.
9. Left a shitload of presents for the trash man tomorrow on the curb.

Things I did not do today:

1. Drink. See what happens when I'm sober? I act like I've injected my veins with crystal meth.
2. Make those damned phone calls I'm so phobic about.
3. Get a job. Would someone employ me PLEASE? I'm running out of domestic things to do.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Hey there Delilah...

Mother's day.

It's been a little strange. On the positive end, I had my first ever nice conversation with my mother that lasted more than 4 min. We talked for 45, like civil, related people who actually were interested in each other. I hope this is the start of something better than the last 26 years.

As of late, things have actually been OK with my stepmother also. After all those years of horrible memories, we're finally saying things that should have been said years ago, and I'm more comfortable letting her into my life as it is now. Honestly, I never thought I'd see this day, where I would write that. It's not all better, the past is something you always have to live with....but change is progress.

Last, on my sad note, I do think about the 3 year old that was to be mine, and it's still sobering for me 3 years later to think about. I can't be the only mother that wasn't to still have moments of sadness right? Funny to think that the wild child I was still wants the family, the house in the 'burbs, and the place in the PTA. That and to be able to kill a bottle of wine every once in a while with friends like a civilized person.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

A brief moment of lucidity.

[10:32] ashglunk13: [10:31] K: guys are dumb.. aren't they? :)
[10:31] ashglunk13: ya'll are retards
[10:31] ashglunk13: its more like they have their own brand of manipulation, different from women
[10:32] ashglunk13: based on feigned ignorance, rather than calculated emotional response.

[10:33] cvandaniker: haha....i love it
[10:34] ashglunk13: i thought you would like that description. i was rather proud of the fact if came out of my mouth
[10:34] cvandaniker: i am too
[10:34] ashglunk13: unfortunately.......this proves i am capable of forming coherent thought before noon
[10:35] ashglunk13: thus negating my argument that i should be allowed to sleep till noon everyday

I hear the secrets that you keep.....when you're talking in your sleep.

One of my many phobic issues happen to be with bugs. Sitting outside last night I became convinced that there was a bee hive filled with golf ball sized bees nesting in the bottom side of the patio. Apparently this thought haunted me into my dreams.

I dreamt that I had gone outside with a flashlight to investigate the hive, and upon shining it in the hive, I discovered I was right. Goddamn golf ball sized bees. And I KNEW they were plotting to gather and army and terrorize me and the rest of the human population. Then I discovered something more horrifying. The leader of the bees was NOT a football sized queen be, but rather a HUGE scorpion. And overlord of sorts I'm guessing. Anyway, the whole situation scared me so bad I woke up screaming and in a cold sweat.

After I calmed down, I went back to sleep only to dream of continuing the fight I had with my ex earlier in the evening. I hate men that seep into my subconscious like that.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Dear 1985: Stay Dead

Heaven knows I love the 80's like none other. Ask my ipod. It'll tell you. But this has been bugging me. Something that should have died with the 80's and STAYED there is the fashion. The pants underneath skirt deal (yes, leggings are in this category too)....should NOT have been resurrected. The layered "Bag Lady" look (think crazy girl from the Breakfast Club), should not be seen out in public as a cool fashion statement. And today, I saw no less than 3 side ponytails roaming the streets. How come no one told me they were back?

The point I am making is: Please Stop. My childhood thanks you.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

There's no place like home.

I spend a lot of time wanting to be other places, other than here.

But I won't deny the fact that I am a total city girl. Living in a big city is almost a rush I can't explain. And I'm definitely lucky to be a DC girl. All the best sights are free, and it's still got that "big city" feel. I talk about my annoyance of the subway, but in reality, I love the traffic and the "hustle and bustle" attitude of the system.

I love the monuments in the spring, and particularly at night. I love the fact that good seafood is only a restaurant or market away. I'm not landlocked, the beach is only a drive away. The people here are opinionated to a fault, but where else can you find such political diversity with passion? We all know that despite our political beliefs, we'll be hailing the same cab to the metro as the next person.

I have to say though, I wish the city cared as much about it's people as the people care for the city.